What’s the difference between a masculine woman/feminine man and a non-binary person?

“Ask Addi” episode 6 transcript.

Addison Smith


For those who are unaware, I produce videos on LGBTQ+ topics and hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which I distribute on my YouTube channel.

For those who don’t have the time or ability to watch, you’ll find the script for the fifth episode of “Ask Addi” below. Since it is a teleprompter script, the format is probably a bit choppier than you’re used to. I’ve included some of the graphics I used in the video, but I left out the intro and end tag where I ask viewers to like and subscribe but feel free to go to YouTube and do so.

Hello Humans, welcome back to Ask Addi, I am they, Addison Smith, your favorite wizened trans person.

OK, maybe I’m not that wizened . . . yet. Anyway.

Today, we have a question that is a very close relative to one of the more annoying questions that queer people hear when we come out.

Are you sure? Are you sure you’re trans? Are you sure you’re gay? I mean, have you really thought about it and you’re sure?

The answer to that question is always “yes.”

Someone who is coming out has been thinking about it for a while. They’ve lived with the idea.

They’ve been hiding it from you. Otherwise, they wouldn’t need to come out.

Then comes the question, how? How do you know? Have you ever had . . . yeah, I’m just going to let that die, and so should you.

Then it’s about trying to diagnose you as anything other than what you said you are.

One person tried to tell me that I just have a bad relationship with men because of my father.

I’m not quite sure they realized why that is.

That’s where Nik’s question comes in:

What is the difference between identifying as a masculine woman or feminine man and identifying as non-binary or genderqueer? Is this a personal choice? — Nik



Addison Smith

I’m an LGBTQ+ DEI educator, activist, and writer living in the Midwest with my cat. Call me Addi. They/She. Booking and more info at https://addisonsagenda.com